"How's" versus "What's"
/Earlier this week, I was having breakfast with my good buddy Matthew. We talked about relationships, and he brought up the topic of What’s VS How’s.
The below can work for all type of relationships, intimate, professional and self.
”What’s” are the things that have to get done and will always be there. For example:
- What are we having for dinner?
- What project do we want to finish next?
- What do we do this weekend?
- What do we do about ____ difficult situations in our life?
VS
”Hows” are the way that you do the what’s. For example:
- How do we want to make family decisions?
- How do we create company culture that fosters independence and creativity?
- How do we decide what to do this week?
- How can we work together to handle ___ issue?
The what’s are constantly present in your life.
If you give them too much focus and mental attention, it might feel as if your personal life is mostly comprised of planning and answering questions.
In my coaching, I like to refer to this as checking the boxes or putting out the fires.
This mentality eventually leads to a life that feels unfulfilling because there is no space to CREATE NEW ways of living and being.
This can get exacerbated in your professional life as well. Are you constantly fixing “what” problems and leaving no room for creative “how” energy? If so, you know how difficult it is to feel as if your business is making forward progress.
The key is to pay attention to the “How’s,” especially when the proverbial fires are close to extinguished, and you have the mental and emotional energy to discuss with your partner, team or self, new, “How’s.”
Having these discussions when things are “good” can be scary because you don’t want to upset them or rock the boat. However, this is indeed the ideal time because all parties can operate from a level-headed space where compassion, understanding, and love can thrive.
Helping people focus on the How’s for all areas of their lives is a large part of my work as a Performance Coach.
If this message resonates with you and/or you’re curious about coaching with me, please reach out to schedule a free intro call here. I would love to chat with you.
Click HERE to read more about 1:1 coaching and HERE for my upcoming May Men’s Group.