The Importance Of Seeing YOUR Vision
/In my coaching experience, many individuals are unclear about the true path they want for their life or why they wish for that path. It’s often a vision coming from outside themselves from parents, media, society, etc.
This leads to a lack of action that they frequently perceive as a failure to motivate or inactivity.
They often tell me their problem is that they need better habits, time management, or routines. (essentially, they want to think/plan their way out of it).
These tactics can be useful to a certain degree, but they already know those answers more often than not.
Instead, they need dedicated time to define their life vision more clearly.
When you have a clear definition of the life you want to live, and the person you truly are, it becomes easier to make decisions because you can filter all of your choices through those answers.
If you find yourself lacking vision for your life the following questions will assist you in determining if your worries are founded or not.
Am I the ____ (father, brother, friend, person, lover, colleague, boss) I want to be?
A: If you can't respond easily or are unsure about your answers, don't you think it's time to dedicate efforts with yourself to figure them out?
B: If you can answer confidently but find yourself not taking action toward your answers, then either....
// 1: You're confused/nervous or anxious about moving ahead.
// 2: You don't believe what you just told yourself.
The hard part with either A or B is being honest with yourself.
This takes immense courage! You have to overcome your EGO that wants to protect you by defending and justifying everything you do. It will make up elaborate stories and reasons for not taking action towards your goals.
However, you must develop a new bond with your ego to create change. It's essential to build the emotional capacity to handle the hard truths that your ego tries to hide. AKA Shadow Work.
You can do this by fine-tuning your introspective techniques and engaging with someone who isn't emotionally invested in shielding or protecting your ego and can offer you the honesty you need because we can't see what we can't see.
Think about it like this: At the workplace you often have a boss or manager giving you feedback on your work. They can offer you new projects or responsibilities as you grow within the company. They are not too worried about hurting your feelings because you operate under “it’s just business”.
But what about your life…..outside of work? (different topic for another day ;)
Who is helping guide you, push you and support you towards the direction YOU want your life to go? Things like: Your relationship with: yourself, your partner, kids, friends, family, fun, adventure etc.
This is often NOT your close family or friends because they are emotionally invested in you, have their own agenda, and struggle to express hard truths for the well-meaning reason of not wanting to hurt your feelings.
The ideal situation is to develop a relationship (or multiple) with individuals who can assist you in recognizing how you're blocking yourself from achieving your vision. These people will tell you the truth that will help you move forward.
Where do you find these people?
Great question. It can be anyone who you develop a mutual understanding and commitment of communication, trust, respect and honesty.
Men’s Groups are a great place to look because everyone in the group agrees to the same principles of support and growth.
If you want to take the support to another level I highly recommend looking into professional support (Coaches, therapists, counselors, mentors etc.),
Depending on who you hire they can offer tools, tactics and stratigies to help you overcome those blocks and hold you accountable to the process.
If you resonate with this blog and want to learn how I can support you in living your best life possible, please don't hesitate to reach out for 1:1 Coaching or Men's Group Coaching.
You can also read about others' experiences with 1:1 Coaching and the Men's Group to see if it feels like a good fit for you.
With Heart,
Mike